Prayer of the betrothed before marriage — preparation for the Sacrament

The preparation of the betrothed for the Sacrament of Matrimony is, in the tradition of the Church, a path of discernment, formation in the faith and growth in purity, according to the three stages which Pope St John Paul II described in Familiaris Consortio n. 66 (22.11.1981): remote preparation (from childhood in the Christian family), proximate (in courtship and engagement, with doctrinal and moral formation), and immediate (in the months before the wedding, with engaged-couples courses and spiritual direction). Scripture itself gives us in Tobias and Sarah the model of believing betrothed: young Tobias is instructed by the archangel Raphael, who presents himself as guide (Tob 5-6), prays with Sarah before the marital union (Tob 8:4-8) and receives the blessing of Raguel through the hand of his daughter (Tob 7:12-14). The Council of Trent (Session XXIV, 11.11.1563) solemnly taught that marriage between two baptised is a Sacrament instituted by Christ (cf. Eph 5:32), and Casti Connubii of Pius XI (31.12.1930) reaffirmed the three ends — fidelity, indissolubility and openness to life — as essential goods of Christian marriage. This prayer is proper to the period of engagement, from the beginning of preparation until the eve of the wedding, complementing the Prayer of Christian Spouses already in Lumen (Sacraments 3m.5) for after the wedding.

(The betrothed pray together or separately during the time of preparation:)

Lord Jesus Christ, who by your presence and by your first miracle at the wedding of Cana (Jn 2:1-11) elevated marriage between two baptised to the dignity of a Sacrament of the New Covenant, we prepare ourselves together before you to receive this most holy grace.

We trust, O Lord, in your plan for us — that you have called us one for the other as a vocation to conjugal holiness. We ask you today and throughout the time of our engagement:

• the grace of purity — that we may live this time of waiting chastely, respecting the body of the other as temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:19) and awaiting the reciprocal and total gift for the day of Matrimony;
• the grace of discernment — that we may clearly recognise your will for our vocation, and approach the altar not by passing impulse but by mature and definitive choice;
• the grace of formation in the faith — that we may deepen together the Catholic doctrine on the Sacrament of Matrimony (cf. Trent Session XXIV; CIC 1601-1666), the three ends, the canonical impediments, and the mission of raising Christianly the children you entrust to us;
• the grace of common prayer — that we may learn from now to pray together, to open ourselves to each other about the things of God, to forgive each other mutually, to decide the great things not each on his own but together before you;
• the grace of fidelity from now — that what we shall solemnly promise on the day of Matrimony we may begin today to live in the fidelity of the heart and in the exclusivity of love.

Grant us, O Lord, the example of Tobias and Sarah who prepared themselves for marriage by prayer and by the blessing of the parents; the example of the Holy Family of Nazareth who lived together under obedience to the Father; and the intercession of the Holy spouses of the Church — in particular of Saints Louis and Zélie Martin, parents of St Thérèse of the Child Jesus, canonised conjointly by Francis on 18 October 2015 as the first couple of lay people and parents of family raised to the altar of the saints.

May we arrive with pure souls and hearts full of gratitude at the day when we shall say to each other: «Receive this ring as a sign of my love and of my fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit». And may that word be valid for the whole of our life, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, until death do us part — that you may reunite us in eternal life. Amen.

Lord, give us a new heart and put within us a new spirit (Ezek 36:26).