Lumen·Lectio
EN / PT
Prayers · Betrothed and Marriage

Prayer of spouses in conjugal difficulty — Psalm 126/127 Nisi Dominus

This prayer is dedicated to Christian spouses going through conjugal difficulties — moments of misunderstanding, emotional distance, exhaustion of patience, temptation against fidelity, or graver crises. The Church offers three great spiritual resources for these hours: (1) Psalm 126 (Vulgate numbering) / 127 (modern Hebrew numbering) — «Nisi Dominus aedificaverit domum, in vanum laboraverunt qui aedificant eam» — «Unless the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it» — which reminds spouses that without the active presence of God marriage itself becomes a fragile human work; (2) the example of the Holy spouses Aquila and Priscilla (Acts 18:1-3.18-28; Rom 16:3-5; 1 Cor 16:19; 2 Tim 4:19) — Jewish-Christian couple who accompanied St Paul on the missions, hosted the Church in their house and risked their lives for the faith — models of conjugal fidelity sustaining mission together; (3) the constant doctrine of the Church on the indissolubility of marriage ratum et consummatum, defined by the Council of Trent (Session XXIV, can. 5-7, 1563) and reaffirmed by Pius XI in Casti Connubii (31.12.1930), by St Paul VI in Humanae Vitae (25.07.1968), by St John Paul II in Familiaris Consortio (22.11.1981) and by Francis in Amoris Laetitia (19.03.2016). When the difficulty is prolonged and serious, one should seek the spiritual accompaniment of a priest or of a mature Christian couple, and always pray for the conversion and perseverance of the spouse. In any case, this prayer does not dispense with the necessary human effort of dialogue, forgiveness and revision of one’s own conduct — rather it gives them foundation and grace.

(Ideally the two spouses together. If one alone, in interior silence for the other:)

Lord God, source of conjugal love, I praise you in this moment in which our marriage suffers. I will not hide from you what is heavy — you know our heart better than we ourselves. I acknowledge: «Unless the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it; unless the Lord keep the city, he watcheth in vain that keepeth it» (Ps 126:1 Vulgate).

So many times we have tried to build our house alone. We have forgotten to ask you for the daily bread of our conjugal life. We have trusted in our own strength, in our capacity for understanding, in our good will — and frustration has come. Now, Lord, I ask you again: build us as your house.

I ask you, in the first place, for the conversion of my own heart:

  • forgive me the hard words I have spoken;
  • forgive me the silences with which I have wounded;
  • forgive me the ungrateful comparisons I have made;
  • forgive me the lukewarmness with which I have fulfilled my duties of state;
  • forgive me the pride which refuses to ask forgiveness first.

In the second place, I ask you for my spouse:

  • grant him/her the grace of interior peace, of discernment, and of growth in the faith;
  • protect him/her from every temptation against the fidelity which unites us;
  • if he/she is far from you, bring him/her back close; if discouraged, sustain him/her; if tempted, deliver him/her;
  • teach me to see him/her with your eyes — with the infinite patience and mercy with which you see him/her.

In the third place, I ask you for our covenant:

  • remember the sacramental grace which you poured upon us on the day when we gave ourselves to each other — that grace has not been exhausted, Lord, it remains operative even in arid days;
  • by the example of Aquila and Priscilla, make us servants together of your Church in our house, in our parish, in our community;
  • by the example of Sts Louis and Zélie Martin who faced the death of children, illness and separations without losing confidence — sustain our covenant until the last day.

Mary, Mother of the wedding of Cana, who perceived the lack even before the spouses and intervened with your Son saying «They have no wine» (Jn 2:3): say also for us to the Lord «They no longer have the joy they had in the beginning». And grant us the grace of the new wine, better than the first (Jn 2:10) — the grace of sacramental love which matures with the years and conjugal sweetness renewed in confidence in the Father. Amen.

← Back to prayer index